By Dayle Beyer
Last week, I heard Dr. Henry Cloud speak about the 3 categories of people you will need to deal with in your life. There is the WISE, the FOOL and the EVIL categories of people.
The WISE person can see and offer light in their life. Most important for a Wise person is that when they receive feedback, their response is a smile. Why a smile? Wise people listen to feedback and drink it in to make themselves a better person. A wise person revels in adjusting themselves to do what they do a bit better every day. Do you know a wise person?
Then there are the fools. They simply don’t listen. You can tell them the same thing a thousand times and still they will not listen. How frustrating is that? What do you do? You give limits and consequences. I am a parent and therefore see and see many parents in the grocery store listening to a tantrum from Johnny or Susie and then finally give in and buy that candy or toy the child wanted. What limit or consequences were provided and received and who turned into a fool?
Yeah, we all have been fools in our life. I was the parent who gave into a screaming child in a grocery store. Yet when we know we have more foolishness in our life than we can deal with because our spouse or boss is just not listening and we are just miserable…everyday…what do you do? How about do something different and just stop talking! It sounds too simple but what is the point in saying something time and again if they are not listening.
There is hope for fools but don’t expect to be that someday, you can change them. Fools are unaware of the collateral damage they are providing. try to avoid responsibility and they think they are always right. The best thing you can do to avoid damage to yourself is to not correct them but to give them limits, consequences and follow-through with your actions. The follow-through maybe hard and could give personal consequences but believe me, in the long run, all participants are better off.
Have you ever played the game “hot potato”? Evil personalities are unfortunate beings that exist in this world because someone has likely done something wrong to them and they need to pass along the toxicity to someone else. The difference between fools and evil people is that fools are not out to hurt you. Evil people ARE truly trying to hurt you and they love it when you fail. Unfortunately, the only way to defend yourself against evil people is to get protection in the form of LG$…Lawyers, Guns and Money.
“Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from and go on your way. For they cannot sleep till they do evil,; they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall. “ Proverbs 4:14-16
The lesson for me in Dr. Henry Cloud’s message is to seek and embrace those that are wise and also to work at becoming a wise person too. Listening and learning from feedback is a great step in becoming a wise person. The more wise people we can create in this world, the less evil we will have to endure within our lives.